Nobody told me the tear-induced migraine would go away. The flowers would die. The food everyone gifted that week would be thrown away or consumed.
Nobody told me the worst of it wouldn’t be the days you were overwhelmed with support, surrounded by people who love you and loved the person you’re mourning.
Nobody told me about the random breakdowns in the car when their favorite song comes on. How so many random things trigger the painful reality that in this life they are gone, forever.
Nobody told me even the most significant days will feel off because even the highest of highs are a reminder that a large piece is missing. A void that will never be filled.
Nobody told me that grieving isn’t something you get over. Grief is something that begins the day they leave and it never truly stops. Some days are easier than others, while some days are so hard you don’t know how you’ll get through.
Some days you can’t stop trying to replay their voice because you never want to forget it. Some days you feel bad for not thinking about them until you do.
Nobody told me that at every funeral since the day you left, I cry for the family members’ loss but also out of empathy. I know too well the hurt they are feeling. The kind of hurt that feels so raw, so brutal, so unfair.
I cry because I know they will also realize there are so many things people never told them about grief. After all, it’s one of those things you have to go through to truly understand. I understand that now, and I am sorry if you do, too.
Self-Love Savannah 